Tuesday, January 24, 2012

DON'T CRY OUT LOUD


"...JUST KEEP IT INSIDE AND LEARN HOW TO HIDE YOUR FEELINGS"


This song, as you probably remember, is sung by Melissa Manchester.  I've learned on many occasions that it's the best thing to do with those who don't share my world of Rheumatoid Arthritis or Bipolar Disorder.  It's an unspoken rule in my subconscience now.


When people ask how I'm doing and keep walking, if they are repeat offenders, I grab them and say: "you asked, so here it is" (chuckle).  The dominant form of BP disorder that I have is the depressive and rapid cycling episodes.

Due to flares, I've been blowing up like a goodyear blimp with painful swelling and deflating so rapidly I feel like I'm thrown to the ground.  Morton's Neuroma makes the balls of my feet feel like I'm walking on hot boulders.  So, the closest I'm going to get to pretty shoes is bejeweling my crocs (not on EVERY occasion, I have some shred of vanity left in me).

Many of you, my fellow RA fighters, know the rawness of this ravaging disease, so through this blog, I am extending empathy and gentle hugs to each and every one of you!.  It's clear that one doesn't have to be diagnosed with an emotional illness to feel numb and vulnerable to the outside world.



Nowadays during this season I am often held hostage, forced to stay home and so I sing the blues to my computer via webcam.  I'll share one with you - ironically it's entitled "Cry Me A River":

2 comments:

  1. I have come to the conclusion that their is this evil ra monster hopping around from ra home to ra home lately. Not sure if it is the weather or what but for some reason it seems that alot of us are in a flare right now. I hope yours passes soon. You have done a fantastic job singing :-)

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  2. That monster is fierce! thanks deb, hope you're doing o.k.!

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