DON'T CRY OUT LOUD

"...JUST KEEP IT INSIDE AND LEARN HOW TO HIDE YOUR FEELINGS"

This song, as you probably remember, is sung by Melissa Manchester.  I've learned on many occasions that it's the best thing to do with those who don't share my world of Rheumatoid Arthritis or Bipolar Disorder.  It's an unspoken rule in my subconscience now.


When people ask how I'm doing and keep walking, if they are repeat offenders, I grab them and say: "you asked, so here it is" (chuckle).  The dominant form of BP disorder that I have is the depressive and rapid cycling episodes.

Due to flares, I've been blowing up like a goodyear blimp with painful swelling and deflating so rapidly I feel like I'm thrown to the ground.  Morton's Neuroma makes the balls of my feet feel like I'm walking on hot boulders.  So, the closest I'm going to get to pretty shoes is bejeweling my crocs (not on EVERY occasion, I have some shred of vanity left in me).

Many of you, my fellow RA fighters, know the rawness of this ravaging disease, so through this blog, I am extending empathy and gentle hugs to each and every one of you!.  It's clear that one doesn't have to be diagnosed with an emotional illness to feel numb and vulnerable to the outside world.

Nowadays during this season I am often held hostage, forced to stay home and so I sing the blues to my computer via webcam.  I'll share one with you - ironically it's entitled "Cry Me A River":

...TUNE OF REALITY

Hello, my name is Candee.   I am a wife, mother, minister and loyal friend to many.  I am also a singer, humbled and truly grateful to my Creator for the gift of song.    


This blog, however, is not really about singing songs to a melody but metaphorically singing to the tune of life's experiences. 

Here's a bit about me:


I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder a little over 10 years ago.  I tried to tell anyone who would listen during my teen years that something in my brain wasn't wired right.   My parents said I was being dramatic, my siblings got a kick out of me being the family clown, bouncing off the walls.  My friends, however, emphatically said: "Oh no girlfriend, you don't FIX that, you RIDE it like the wind!" 

......So I did....then....BAM!  I ran into what felt like a wall of nails.  Suddenly I woke up to a nasty bout of depression that crippled me for a long time.

Due to the right cocktail of meds,  I'm relatively back on my feet.  

That's just one of three "significant others" in my life;  added is my Husband of 28 years and Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Ed keeps me grounded when RA and/or BP knocks me to the ground.

Blogging is one way I'll fight the "thorns in my flesh".  I'm looking forward to harmonizing with you.